When Life Gets in the Way

Posted on February 29, 2020 ·

Yesterday, a dear friend of mine confided that she was struggling to focus on her writing and publishing due to some major life changes. Ironically, these changes were implemented as a way to focus more on her writing and publishing. As my wise friend noted, “change is never neat.”

I’m a little envious of her, to be honest. She is packing up and moving from a big city to a small town all the way across the country. It’s the kind of small town you read about in stories or maybe hear about in country songs. Small, simple, quiet, surrounded by woods.

Kind of like a permanent writer’s retreat.

Because my friend is so diligent and hard-working, she feels like she is failing by not writing during this process of change, which includes purchasing one house, selling another, and making arrangements to move 3,000 miles away.

What I told her is this: “There is no way I could even think about writing if I were in your shoes. I’d just get through the move and pick a date on the calendar when I could begin again. And then I’d look forward to that day, dream about it, and let it carry me through the weeks between.

“I do that in summer. Sometimes I’m able to write, but other times I just say, you know what, instead of splitting myself in two I’m giving myself 100% over to my family, and when the kids return to school, on that day, I get to write again.”

I admitted I’d been struggling too, with none other than this blog. Since June I’d managed one post a month, practically a record for me, and I hated to break my streak but couldn’t seem to nail down my February post. Why is this so difficult? I rarely get stuck writing fiction or essays, but blogging just doesn’t come naturally to me.

My friend responded in kind with her own guidance: she suggested I write a few paragraphs about a certain friend’s life situation, how it was getting in the way of writing, and the comforting words of advice I’d offered her.

She even gave me a title for the post: When Life Gets in the Way.

I told you she was wise.

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A Fond Farewell to 2019

Posted on December 30, 2019 ·

Image from MAKY_OREL on Pixabay

Like a well-written novel, 2019 was full of twists, challenges, change, and triumph.

It began with my job being eliminated mid-January, which forced me to reevaluate what I wanted to do for a living. I decided I’d rather piece together part-time jobs and work twice as many hours than go back to working as a floor nurse.

I applied for laboratory positions at hospitals (before becoming a nurse, I worked very happily as a phlebotomist), I applied at bookstores (of course it’s my dream job), and I applied at schools, hoping to get a position as a teacher’s assistant.

I ended up getting a weekend job as a phlebotomist which paid nearly as well as my nursing job. And then, over the summer, I received an offer for a TA position with Tempe Elementary School District. Awesome! Only … although this position was at an elementary school, it was actually in a preschool.

Hmm. Many years had passed since I’d been around three and four year olds. I had bleary memories of little balls of energy with the attention spans of puppies and shocking fits of temper. Still, kids are kids. I took the job.

And I completely fell in love with it. The 18 children that I’m privileged to spend 20 hours a week with bring me so much joy; instead of feeling drained at the end of the work day, I feel energized. And I’ve rediscovered something I once knew—that I belong in the classroom. It doesn’t matter if they’re preschoolers, second graders, fourth graders, or middle schoolers. I enjoy being around children, and I truly feel as if I can make a difference to them.

With this in mind, I tentatively reached out to the teaching certification program I’d dropped out of in November of 2016. At the time I was burned out on school, having just earned my bachelor’s degree from Arizona State University, and due to events of that month that I need not name, I’d lost hope in making any kind of positive change in the world.

The teaching program had great news; although it had been three years, I was still technically enrolled and only had to register for classes to jump back in. I did, switching from elementary education to early childhood (I mentioned I fell in love with preschoolers, right?), and already I’m halfway through my first semester. This time next year I will be preparing to student teach, and by spring of 2021 I will be a certified teacher.

The saying “everything happens for a reason” irks many, and I can see why, but in most cases I feel it is true. There’s no doubt that if my position hadn’t been cut at the beginning of the year, something that felt pretty awful at the time, I would not have ended up in a job I love and on my way toward a career that matches my interests and personality.

I also wouldn’t have met the 18 little people who make me laugh and warm my heart every single day. It feels as if everything has fallen into a place I was meant to be.

On to writerly things! Here are a few highlights from 2019:

In January, my short story “Gratitude” won runner-up in Women on Writing’s flash fiction contest.

In April, Women on Writing featured me in an interview on their blog.

In September, my essay “Growing Pains” was published in Mothers Always Write.

In December, Motherwell announced that my essay, published in fall, was one of their seven most read pieces of the year.

I drafted several new short stories and essays in my fall writing workshop; added some layers and an epilogue to my fourth book, The House on Linden Way; drafted a novella that I’d been wanting to write for several years, about boys and volcanoes and the trappings of faith; and spent a month plotting a cozy mystery which I’m now nearly done drafting —it will be finished in late January.

Goals for 2020 include reading a lot (52 books minimum), writing a lot, and finding an agent. This last one is key. I haven’t tried hard enough to find representation for my books; in fact, throughout the years I’ve submitted my second book to maybe six agents, my third to two or three, and my fourth to about a dozen.

Why the anemic effort? Part of it is that I tend to focus on the aspects of writing completely within my control, like the actual writing. Part of it is that I fragment my attention working on novels, short stories, essays, and articles. Part of it is that because I publish short stories and essays fairly regularly I put most of my submission efforts into those.

In 2020 that all changes.

Happy New Year, everyone!

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Why You Should Join National Novel Writing Month

Posted on October 31, 2019 ·

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

As the last ghostly trails of October slither away on Halloween night, November—and the real terror— begins.

That is, if you’re a writer.

November is National Novel Writing Month, otherwise known as NaNoWriMo, and like any scary story worth its salt, the online writing project is an anxiety inducing mix of horror and excitement. Attempting to write 50,000 words in one month? Terrifying. Watching your stats rise on the bar graph with each word count update? Definitely a thrill.

Whether you’ve been feverishly plotting your book in preparation or warily side-eyeing every NaNoWriMo reference in your social media feeds, you should absolutely join. It costs nothing yet offers a wealth of support, positive energy, and useful resources. And if you’re under 18, or teach those who are, the Young Writers Program provides a safe and encouraging space dedicated to children and young adults.

There are plenty of naysayers out there who will point out that attempting to write that many words in one month is crazy, it will all turn out to be crap and a colossal waste of time, but writing is never a waste of time, and if that doesn’t convince you, I’ll let you in on a little secret …

NaNoWriMo is not really about writing 50,000 words in a month. It’s about committing to a project and writing fast enough to outrun self-doubt. This is essential; you can’t write slowly and edit as you go with a novel. With short stories, sure. But a novel is too big; once you start looking back it overwhelms you. Plow through the first draft and get the story down. Fine-tuning comes later (much later).

Also! Writing is supposed to be fun and plunging into the madness that is NaNoWriMo alongside a community of over 400,000 fellow wordsmiths is a blast. Ignore the naysayers and the snarky comments on social media. Maybe they’re right and in the end you won’t use anything you wrote toward a published novel. But guess what? Every minute you spent writing made you a better writer.

What have you got to lose by trying?

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Six Years of Blogging

Posted on August 17, 2019 ·

Image from Flickr by Will Clayton

It’s hard for me to believe, but this month marks six years since I started blogging.

I remember nervously hitting publish on that first post, uncomfortable with the idea of broadcasting my thoughts and feelings to a public audience, a reluctance that now seems adorably quaint. Long gone are the days when putting ourselves out there inspired such thrilling anxiety; it’s both a relief and a sad kind of loss.

Back then, my heart aflame with the recent news that my book was to be published the following year, I committed to writing one blog post per week. That ambitious goal lasted approximately three months before I sheepishly conceded defeat.

I am not a fast writer, and despite being repeatedly assured that blog posts are meant to be written in a more casual and conversational style, I just don’t write that way. I decided I’d rather take my time and publish one or two posts per month than fire off one or more per week for the sake of producing content.

And I’m glad. Although I’ve never blogged frequently enough to earn much of a following, when I reread my old posts (six years’ worth!!) I’m proud of what’s there. Each entry was carefully thought out: every title, every picture, every paragraph break, every word—all with you in mind. Because if you’re here and reading, I want you to feel these posts are worth your time.

Hopefully I’ve succeeded. Thank you for sticking around, and in honor of that day six years ago, here’s a link back in time. I had just celebrated my 38th birthday and wrote about everything that was most important to me then, which happens to be the same things that are most important to me now: my family, my writing, and chocolate cake.

Some things never change.

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The Everyday Writer

Posted on July 31, 2019 ·

Photo by Mark Duffel on Unsplash

I have never been an everyday writer. There are brief periods of time when I write every day, but when the project is finished or the monthly writing challenge wraps up, I simply stop.

The intention is always to take a short break and then begin again, but sometimes it’s months before I start something new, at which point I write furiously, devoting entire days to my work.

This needs to change, because come August I no longer have the luxury of entire days. When my kids return to school, I will be joining them.

I’ve long wanted a part-time day job but refused to compromise when it comes to my children’s schedules. It’s important to me that I’m available to take them to school, pick them up, and be with them for their holidays off, which include several weeks throughout the school year in addition to summer vacation.

That basically left me one option—get a job with the school district—and finally I found one with the perfect schedule, working four hours a day in student support at an elementary school. I volunteered weekly in the classroom when my kids were younger, and I’ve missed everything about it. I am so excited.

I’m also nervous. Because now my writing time has been slashed from four hours a day to one. Because now there’s no making up for lost time. The only way to produce any reasonable amount of work is to break my pattern of writing in irregular bursts and instead write a little every day.

The idea has its charms. I’ve always pictured the everyday writer as someone who wakes at dawn to steal moments while his family sleeps or visits the same café each morning to fill a page or two before rushing off to her day job.

I treasure sleep, so the former will never be me. However, I can clearly visualize the latter, and with such limited time I believe it’s essential that I write away from home. I even have a coffee shop in mind.

A place free from the lure of laundry, cleaning, and checking email. A place with dim lighting and quiet corners and cheap drip coffee. A place that isn’t quite home but could still become mine—a sanctuary for the everyday writer.

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Sharing a Little Love for Lit Mags

Posted on June 26, 2019 ·

Photo by Carolyn V on Unsplash

Not long ago, I pulled up my ever-changing Word document titled “potential markets to submit work.” Scanning the list, I was surprised and saddened at how many literary magazines were no longer options.

The recent shuttering of some, like Glimmer Train and Tin House, came as a shock. Others, like YA Review Net, seemed to slowly fade until finally, quietly, saying goodbye. Yet another, Full Grown People, has been on hiatus since last June, and my fingers are still crossed that their absence remains temporary.

I had the honor of being published in both Full Grown People and YARN, and I long dreamed of seeing my name in print in Glimmer Train and Tin House. Yet beyond submitting to these publications, I faithfully read them throughout the years, and their loss affects me more as a reader than as a writer. This is important—far too many writers read only for market research.

We need to do more to support our literary magazines. While it’s true that not all of them close due to lack of finances or readership, the majority probably do. I contribute to the tip jar of my favorite lit mags when I can, commit to paid subscriptions for others, and occasionally pay entry fees for contests, but for those who can’t afford to offer monetary support, simply reading and sharing does wonders.

On that note, here are a few favorites I’d like to share with you.

Brevity
The gold standard for flash creative essays, Brevity has been publishing bite-sized literary perfection for over twenty years. Start with this gorgeous lyric essay called Variations on a Home Depot Paint Sample, and then keep going.

Hunger Mountain
This student-run journal from Vermont College of Fine Arts consistently publishes stellar work. They also enthusiastically cheer on past writers through social media, making those of us lucky to have published in Hunger Mountain feel part of a true writing community. For a sampling of their nonfiction, try this short essay by River Holmes-Miller: What Is There, What Is Missing.

Literary Mama
Known for their beautifully written essays and stories on motherhood, Literary Mama navigates the joys and sorrows of parenting with thoughtfulness and grace. Here’s a stunner called The Four Seasons of Longing, easily one of my favorite essays on motherhood, ever.

Mothers Always Write
The poetry and essays at this lovely online magazine reflect, with quiet dignity, the challenges and celebrations of raising children. Free from political controversies and pointless vulgarity, each issue of Mothers Always Write is pure treasure. The following essay brought me to tears with its surprise ending: Wow.

Superstition Review
Arizona State University’s online literary magazine is another solid publication that works hard to support its past contributors and foster an online community. The quality of their fiction, essays, and artwork means its always a treat when a new issue is released. I particularly loved this short fiction from last fall: This Family.

Motherwell
It’s hard to believe that three years have passed since Randi Olin and Lauren Apfel, both formerly of Brain, Child, launched their online parenting publication. Motherwell’s objective is to tell “all sides of the parenting story”; here is a beauty told from the point of view of an adult daughter: Helping my mother clean out her closet, the year before she died.

Women on Writing
I owe so much to the supportive and generous group of women who run this site. Their daily blog posts always strive for positivity and encouragement, and their quarterly flash fiction contests keep me inspired to submit shorter work. Here is an example of one of their featured articles on revising and resubmitting.

Poets & Writers
A yearly subscription to Poets & Writers costs less than $2 per month, and there’s nothing quite like getting the latest issue delivered to your actual mailbox (not the digital one). When it arrives, you can kick off your shoes, settle in with a cup of tea or a glass of wine, and read amazing articles like this one: Some Room to Breathe: In Praise of Quiet Books.

Losing Tin House should be a wake-up call for many. There are probably very few people who truly don’t have the time to read an occasional short story or essay. If you’re a lover of literature, pick a publication that means something to you and do what you can to support it, while you can. You can even start now by sharing it here with me. Every reader counts.

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One Resolution, Many High Hopes

Posted on December 31, 2018 ·
Photo by Daiga Ellaby on Unsplash

Since 2014 I’ve avoided declaring writing resolutions and tried keeping things simple with one easy goal—reading one book per week for a total of 52 per year.

This year I far exceeded that goal, partly because I embraced a new-found love of audiobooks. I’ll share my bookish end-of-year recap with you in a few weeks, but for now here’s a list of the writing I published in 2018:

Short Stories

From Autumn to June
A young girl struggles with feelings of loss over an aborted sibling.

I’ve lived all my life without knowing you. Fourteen years. I’ll still never know you, but at least now I know of you. You existed once, and nobody gave you a name, and I’m sorry about that.

The Lost Girls
A six-year-old boy experiences a truly haunted Halloween while trick-or-treating with his sister.

He’d never been to the ocean and didn’t know what the waves sounded like when they broke against the shore, but Timothy knew they didn’t sound like the voices of girls.

Articles

A Different Point of View
In this post for Women on Writing, I reveal a trick to getting to know your characters better.

Start at the Beginning—Using Titles as Prompts
In this post for Superstition Review, I discuss writer’s block and how to beat it.

Essays

Although it didn’t get published, I was thrilled when my essay Pure Imagination won honorable mention in Women on Writing’s essay contest in March.

I may not have writing resolutions for 2019, but I have lots of hopes. I hope to find an agent or publisher for one (or all!) of my three unpublished books. I hope to write something completely different, non-literary, and fun (maybe a cozy mystery?). Above all, I hope to keep scribbling away—preserving memories, creating worlds, and wondering at the magic of it all.

Happy New Year!

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Celebrating Halloween with a New Story

Posted on October 31, 2018 ·

This Halloween I’m celebrating for several reasons. One is simply the fact that, to me, it’s the most wonderful time of the year. When wreaths of snarled twigs and black roses show up in the stores alongside pumpkins, sugar skulls, and shelves full of candy, it signals the end of summer. And for us desert dwellers, that is a blessed relief.

Another reason to celebrate is that today I’m editing the final chapter of my book The House on Linden Way. I wrote about this work-in-progress last September, but back then I called it my maybe-novel. That’s because I often start a story with the intention of writing a book, but instead end up writing a long short story. I was thrilled when this one chose to stay with me a little longer. Now my once maybe-novel is a full-length manuscript—revised, polished, and on its way tomorrow to my beta readers.

Finally, I’m excited to announce that my short story “The Lost Girls” was published today in YA Review Net (YARN). This story was formerly known as “The Shell of Light” and won runner-up in YARN’s 2017 Halloween Fiction Contest. It’s a favorite of mine for the same reason Halloween is my favorite holiday: I love the moody imagery and Gothic gloom of October stories. I keep my Halloween screen saver on all year long, and I’m a sucker for literature and films depicting crumbling castles, misty graveyards, dark forests, decaying mansions, ghosts and goblins or, in this case, a night out trick-or-treating gone horribly wrong.

I wrote “The Lost Girls” to a prompt given to me by my then seven-year-old son, so this one’s for him, although it’ll be a few more years before he’s allowed to read it. You don’t have to wait though. Click here to read “The Lost Girls,” and Happy Halloween!

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The Story Behind You

Posted on August 31, 2018 ·

Sometime in May I was browsing for journals at my indie bookstore (in recent years I’ve learned to overcome my reluctance of writing in journals) and discovered a gem called 50 Things About My Mother.

I purchased two copies, smiling as I imagined how my children, ages 11 and 16, would answer prompts like “My favorite childhood memory of us together” and “The best gift you ever gave me.” These time-stamped treasures were all I wanted for Mother’s Day.

Their responses were as illuminating, sweet, and funny as they are. Gabriel’s answer to “My favorite fun fact about you” was “you are not like most mothers” (“In a good way, right?” I asked in amusement, to which he hastily agreed). Abigail’s responses to “Things I know you can’t live without” included breakfast, Barnes & Noble, and us. (She’s right).

And then, toward the end of Gabe’s book, I read aloud his answer to “Things I’ve learned from you along the way.” Momentarily speechless, I glanced at my daughter, who looked back with matching surprise. Here is what he wrote:

“Wow, Gabe,” I said. “That’s beautiful.”

“It’s poetic,” Abbey agreed.

And it’s true. You have a story behind you, something I’ve taught my kids—who both like to write—but have never worded quite so eloquently.

You have a story behind you, and that doesn’t mean you’re bound to its narrative and can’t create something new; it simply means you have everything you need to get started. In an interview with YA Review Net, Jacqueline Woodson, who writes both fiction and memoir, states it another way: “My writing always starts from a place of memory.”

Mine too. My latest novel is about a woman who revisits her childhood home and becomes lost in her memories. It’s a ghost story, a story of a haunted house and the trappings of nostalgia. I believe in ghosts, and haunted houses, but I’ve never really encountered them; the writing is fiction. Yet it starts from memory—memories of a beloved brother, of a childhood home, of early motherhood and its suffocating fears.

It’s a collection of moments I’ve left behind. Together, they fused with my imagination and created their own story, something entirely new and exciting but rooted in memory, my memories, something only I could create.

You have those moments too—moments scattered throughout your past that burned bright enough to make a lasting impression and are waiting to be rediscovered, and maybe reimagined. You have a story behind you, one I’d love to hear. So, write.

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Read My New Story “From Autumn to June”

Posted on June 15, 2018 ·

This week YA Review Network published my short story “From Autumn to June.” I wrote this piece last spring and was thrilled when YARN sent an acceptance letter over the summer. Having worked with them previously on my story “We Never Get to Talk Anymore” and again on a piece that will be published in October, I knew my work was in good hands.

“From Autumn to June” was one of those rare stories that almost seemed to write itself. It’s as if it were there all along, just waiting to be discovered. When that happens it feels like magic, and it’s the best part of being a writer.

Another great thing about being a writer is getting to see the world through different points of view. This particular story explores a very sensitive subject from a perspective not often considered or given a voice. While researching, I was surprised to discover how prevalent this issue is—I found several support groups on various platforms dedicated to those struggling with it.

At first I wasn’t sure how to approach the narrative. Remembering how much I loved reading Barbara Kingsolver’s letters to her mother and daughter in Small Wonder, I thought I’d try the same. The style, called epistolary, has an eloquent way of capturing intimacy. I love how it turned out, and I hope you do too.

Read “From Autumn to June” here.

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