When Writing Hurts

Posted on September 20, 2013 ·
Image from Flickr by Mjnoon.Maha

Image from Flickr by Mjnoon.Maha

It doesn’t matter if you’re writing fiction or poetry, memoir or a diary—sometimes writing hurts.

In fiction, a good writer does more than manufacture characters—he breathes life into them, he makes their hearts beat, he hears their voices when he’s falling asleep and wakes with their thoughts and dreams. When they hurt, he hurts too. Sometimes they lead him places and all he can do is watch; other times he leads them, and often it feels like a betrayal.

I’ve grieved for characters even before I’ve written their story. I don’t believe every story should have a happy ending, but if I’m writing it’s because I believe the story should be told.

Like love, the hurt is worth it.

What about nonfiction? Journaling can be therapeutic, but when it comes to publication, it’s hard to judge the worth of your own story. If it hurts too much, you’re probably not ready to write about it. If the content is going to hurt someone else, the story had better be worth it.

I struggled with the choice to publish an essay about my emotionally difficult second pregnancy, knowing one day it could hurt my son. But when I compared that slim chance to the great possibility my essay could help other women, I chose to have it published. Factored into that decision was the lack of writing I found on my topic; it was a problem seldom discussed. It needed to be discussed. My son is strong and he knows how much I love him—he’ll understand. Maybe he’ll even think I was brave.

It was worth it.

Writing nearly always costs us something. With nonfiction, I consider that cost carefully; with fiction, I don’t consider it at all.

What about you?

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800 Reasons to Submit Your Writing

Posted on September 13, 2013 ·
Image from Flickr by Guerrilla Futures

Image from Flickr by Guerrilla Futures

The writing part is hard enough. By the time you’ve crafted your essay, poem, or short story, you’ve been through countless revisions. Triumph and frustration. You’re exhausted, but ecstatic—because you’re done. Yay!

Only, if your goal is to publish, you’re nowhere close to done.

The daunting task of researching markets has kept many fine stories buried in desk drawers and computers. Don’t let this happen to your story. There’s a good chance it can find a home in one of over 800 publications seeking work in Poets & Writers’ literary database.

No, I didn’t type an extra zero. That number is 800. Don’t believe me? Here’s the link:

http://www.pw.org/literary_magazines

Poets & Writers not only lists these publications for you but includes

  • whether they take simultaneous submissions.
  • whether they take electronic submissions.
  • what their reading periods are.
  • whether they pay.
  • which genres and subgenres they’re looking for.

Most also have a website for further information, and sometimes you can view content to see if your writing is a good fit.

I’m a big fan of P&W. I subscribe to the magazine, and of all my writerly pieces of mail, this one’s my favorite (okay, except for acceptance letters). This may be partly sentimental; the first publication to send me a “Congratulations!” letter was SLAB Literary Magazine, and guess how I discovered them? In the classifieds at the back of Poets & Writers. I still have the copy with that advert highlighted in yellow.

Another publication I highlighted was Hospital Drive, and months later I would submit a story to them called “The Distance Ratio” which they went on to publish. The bottom line is that Poets & Writers is a great resource for finding markets.

It’s also a great resource for in-depth articles and interviews, so I recommend subscribing, but you don’t have to be a subscriber to gain access to the literary database. You can follow the link above or visit the website at www.pw.org, click “Tools for Writers” and then “Lit Mags.”

As a writer, what’s more motivating than viewing a list of nearly 1,000 publications seeking your work? Go, scroll through, pick one you feel good about, and submit something. Yes, right now.

Keep hanging out with me. Type your email address in the box below (mobile) or to your right, and hit the subscribe button. 🙂

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Seeing Red? How to Respond to Your Editor

Posted on September 6, 2013 ·

First, breathe.

It’s not easy being edited. When you first view your work with an editor’s changes/comments/criticisms, there will be a moment when your heart freezes, and then it will start to burn. This is normal. Do not respond.

Throughout the day, you will compose imaginary emails and engage in silent conversations where you defend your art against the insult of Track Changes. Because obviously this editor just doesn’t get you. You meant to be evasive in paragraph two; you wanted to sound ironic in your closing phrase.

Go ahead and rant silently. Your children may stare in confusion as you mutter and burst into occasional mirthless laughter, your spouse may disappear into the bathroom. They know you’re a writer, that you’re a little strange sometimes. They’ll forgive you.

As the evening goes on, you’ll whittle down your editor’s suggestions to the ones that bothered you most; they’ll play over and over again and the thought of implementing them will make you feel like crying. Pay attention. These are the changes you have to make.

The others, the ones that don’t hurt or merely sting, will categorize themselves:

  • Confirmed—I knew that sentence didn’t feel right.
  • Enlightened—I didn’t realize this wasn’t clear, but I see the problem.
  • Embarrassed—Did I actually write that?
  • Opposed—I see what she’s saying, but this phrase is important.

It may take a few days to get to this point. Wait until you’re there. If you have to, send your editor a polite email explaining that you’re reviewing her comments and working through them. She’ll understand.

When you can think of her with gratitude (she did save you from using the word “just” three times in one page) and remember that she wants your work to be its absolute best (it is also a reflection of her, after all), then you’re ready to respond.

While you’re drafting your reply, don’t be surprised to realize that out of the dozen changes you thought you couldn’t live with, there are now only two.

And when she answers you, don’t be surprised if she says, “I can live with that.”

What’s your experience working with editors? How long do you wait to respond?

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Let’s (Not) Talk About Sex

Posted on August 30, 2013 ·
Image from Flickr by cheerfulmonk

Image from Flickr by cheerfulmonk

Last month, a magazine called Bartleby Snopes published my short story “The Dinosaur Graveyard.” It’s a partly fictional story about first love and the fleeting quality of memory, and there’s plenty of sex. So which parts are fictional?

I’m not telling.

We’re all grown ups here. Honestly, I’m not embarrassed writing about sex, because when I write I’m not thinking about publication. I’m thinking about the story, and how to stay true to it. For nonfiction, that means staying tethered to memory even as you drift far enough away to examine it from the outside. For fiction, it simply means staying true to your characters.

The moment a story is accepted for publication is when I start picturing my family reading it. And that’s not a pretty picture if the story is a sexy one. There’s my dad to think about (cringe), and my brother (thank God he’s not on Facebook).

It’s ridiculous, of course. They both know perfectly well how children are made, and that I have two. They both know the definition of fiction, and that not everything I write is based on—ahem—experience.

Still, it’s awkward, and no one addresses this in a more funny or eloquent way than Barbara Kingsolver. In a March 2000 essay for The New York Times, the famous novelist confessed that unlike her previous books, her upcoming Prodigal Summer (HarperCollins 2000) had lots of sex, and she worried how she’d be judged:

I’ve begun to think about the people who will soon be sitting in their homes, on airplanes and in subways with their hands on this book. Many people. My mother, for instance.

. . . I’ve written about every awful thing from the death of a child to the morality of political assassination, and I’ve never felt fainthearted before. What is it about describing acts of love that makes me go pale?

It’s comforting to know I’m not alone. What I’m reminded of is me as a little girl having sneezing fits in the car when George Michael came on the radio:

George Michael: I want your—
Me: Achoo! ACHOO!
My mother: Goodness! Are you okay?

I’m not a little girl anymore, but some things never change. So when I published the link on Facebook to my story, I added a warning for my family’s benefit: “Rated R for sexual content.”

I felt kind of silly doing it, but I’m only following Kingsolver’s advice. Among her suggestions on how to make peace with coition in writing is, “We must warn our mothers before the book comes out.”

Do you ever feel nervous about your family reading your work, even when it’s fiction? Share your story with me, and don’t forget to subscribe. 🙂

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How to Trick Yourself into Writing

Posted on August 23, 2013 ·

Once, when I was about five, my mother tried convincing me to color a picture so she could get some housework done. She laid out a coloring book and a handful of bright crayons sure to tempt any little girl into 30 minutes of quiet, non-disruptive activity.

But I wasn’t tempted.

Eventually, my mother gave up on her work and sat at the table. “Hmmmm,” she murmured. She slid the coloring book closer. She paged through it, fascinated, and exclaimed over something I couldn’t see. I crept closer, wondering what could be so interesting, but she shifted in her chair, blocking my view. Then she chose a crayon and began to color.

I rounded the table and sat beside her. Her hand swished across the paper as she meticulously shaded her picture with long light strokes. My pictures never looked like that. I wanted to try too. I reached for a crayon. “I’m using those,” she said without looking up. “Just go ahead and do what you were doing, honey.”

I was crushed; how badly I wanted to color! Coloring was the only thing in the world that would make me happy! I sat in anguish until she finished her picture. Then she turned to me, smiled and said, “Do you want to color one for me?”

Of course I did.

Perspective is everything. Remember Mary Poppins’ “Spoonful of Sugar”? When writing begins to feel like a chore and you’ve lost your inspiration, try turning your perspective on its head. Here are a few tricks to get you started:

Limit your writing time. If you have six hours a day to write, block off three hours. If you have four hours, block off two. Force yourself to use the rest of the time doing laundry, running errands, paying bills, etc. You’ll spend that time wishing you were writing, and realize it’s not such a chore after all.

Change your space. If you write in your home office, move your laptop to the dining room. If you write at a coffee shop, try the library. Instead of playing classical music, switch to rock and roll. Different lighting, sounds, smells—these elicit a different response and turn what was routine into something new and interesting.

Picture your favorite writer at work. My mother infused mystery and longing into the act of coloring a picture because she was doing it instead of me. I was five; anything she did was worthy and important.

Now picture a writer you admire and imagine him at his desk, typing away or scrawling outlines for his next brilliant manuscript. He has the same tools you do: a keyboard, a pencil, a stack of paper. Imagination and the need to tell stories. Embody that spirit, and start writing.

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The Secret to Social Media

Posted on August 16, 2013 ·

Writers love to rant about the (undignified! soul-sucking!) task of social media promotion. I’m sure at some point I’ve used those very words (blush).

But here’s the thing: when you stop thinking about it as promotion, and give yourself permission to have fun, it’s kind of, well, fun.

Of course, I just started; my Facebook account is four years old, but my Twitter, Goodreads, and Pinterest accounts (not to mention this blog) are babies.

It’s funny—now that I’ve figured out how to format a blog, scan Flickr for Creative Commons photos and attribute them correctly, and quell the anxiety of hitting “publish” without the validation of an editor, I find that blogging doesn’t take much time. What takes time is researching topics like

  • should fiction writers blog?
  • what should fiction writers blog about?
  • aren’t writers just blogging to other writers?
  • how do I keep my chocolate chip cookies from getting all crunchy around the edges?

Whoops, never mind that last one.

Anyway, if I’d applied those hours toward blogging, I could have started a year ago. And this article from The Write Life by Chuck Sambuchino silences the question of whether fiction authors need a web presence.

You’re supposed to ease into social media, but that’s what they say about gardening, too. And my family was so excited about our first, we bought an abundant, crazy mix of seeds and scattered them wherever we felt like it. That was our most fruitful garden; since then, we’re lucky to grow zucchini (and anyone can grow zucchini).

So I plunged in, and here’s my take so far:

Pinterest

Ah, I get it now. As a writer, I’d forgotten the pure joy of expressing emotions solely through visual imagery. I remember doing it as a child—with stickers on my school binders, magazine pages lining my bedroom walls and dreamy abstracts floating on my computer screen. With Pinterest, you can create boards that reflect the things you care about, and you never have to say a word.

Goodreads

What I love most about this site, so far, is I have one place to list my “to be read” books. Now I can collect all the scraps of paper, sticky notes, and electronic lists buried in my phone, and shelve those titles in Goodreads. Voila! A book lover’s dream.

Twitter

This was supposed to be my favorite, because that’s what everybody says. I do like Twitter—there’s something about the immediacy of it that’s freeing—but it’s confusing. I tried learning it before tweeting, but on Twitter it’s easier to learn by doing. There’s no real fear of judgment; people are just cool. And it moves so fast, no one’s going to hold it against you if you, like I did at first, respond instead of retweet, or whatever. It’s all good.

Facebook

After being on Twitter, Facebook feels like watching life in slow motion. But that has its moments.

Blogging

My personal favorite. This has been a shock—I worried about the time it would take to blog (see above), I worried no one would read my blog . . . now I know it’s about perspective. If you enjoy doing it, the rest is just icing. And since I enjoy writing (and am used to doing it for free), blogging doesn’t feel like wasting time at all.

Still, comments are nice 😉 Got one to share?

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“So, What’s Your Book About?”

Posted on August 9, 2013 ·
Image from Flickr by Horia Varlan

Image from Flickr by Horia Varlan

At a writing conference last year, I met a teenage boy who asked me what my book was about. Fair question. We were waiting for a judging panel to draw random names from a large crowd eager to “pitch” their book ideas. Only 20 people would get the chance, and there would be a single winner, who would be introduced to an agent. We stood by while seats were arranged, poring over our one-minute pitches.

“Okay, here’s what I’ve got,” I told him. After a deep breath, I plunged into the 60-second description of my novel, then looked at him expectantly. He raised his eyebrows. “So, basically,” he said, “your main character is bat-shit crazy?”

I burst out laughing. He’d certainly eased the tension. “I guess so,” I said. “Now, what about yours?”

He compared his book to Twilight; it had a love triangle, werewolves, vampires, set in high school. I told him it sounded great, wished him luck, and found a seat.

The boy never got his chance, but I did. When the judges called my name, I looked back and saw him giving me a lopsided grin and a thumbs-up. I pitched my novel—and lost. But the judges said the decision was difficult, and they wanted to acknowledge their close second choice. That was me, and I was declared runner-up, sharing the stage and receiving some nice prizes.

I was disappointed, sure, but looking back, my book wasn’t ready for an agent. I’d completed the first draft only six months before, and would spend another year and a half revising it before finding a publisher. I expect it will go through several more revisions before its release next year.

What the conference did was force me to summarize my 45,000-word novel onto one page. And although the novel itself would change many times, that first pitch didn’t change much at all.

Here’s what it looks like:

When Marin’s world is shattered in an instant, she withdraws to the world of her dreams. At night, in this fantasy of bright forests and shadowless skies, time does not move and grief cannot find her.

Then a teacher refers Marin to the school counselor, where she’s pulled from her solitude and thrust in a group of troubled peers. Her anger breaks through and begins to kindle other emotions: empathy for others, desire to form friendships, and hope for a new dream. She is slowly waking from her grief.

But something in her dreams doesn’t want her to wake up. And as those dreams turn to nightmares, Marin knows she must face the demons she’s created, and conquer what lies behind the fourth wall.

So that’s what my book’s about! Just don’t ask me what the next one’s about. That’s a story for another day . . .

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Surprise!

Posted on August 2, 2013 ·

On Monday, I sat peering over a birthday cake, surrounded by my son, daughter, and husband. A handful of flickering candles marked my 38th birthday. My three greatest wishes had already come true, but they were waiting, and the ice cream was getting soft; what to wish for? I thought of one dream that hadn’t come true. I closed my eyes and blew out the candles.

On Tuesday, the email arrived. My book will be published in 2014 by a lovely small press called WiDo Publishing. The novel is no longer called The Fourth Wall, giving it a sense of mystery even to its author. Who knows what it will look like in a year? All I know is it will look like something other than a manuscript sitting in my computer. It will be printed and bound and on bookshelves.

Blogging is not a natural medium for me. With fiction, you never submit a first draft (or a second for that matter), and I’m a little terrified of putting words out there that haven’t been scrutinized and set aside for a few weeks to make sure they’re worthy of your time (and error-free).

Obviously, this has to change. I owe it to the people at this small press—who believe in my book and are taking a chance on me—to do my part. This includes blogging, tweeting, and pinning. I might blog infrequently (several times per month vs. several times per week), but I will do it faithfully, and hope you’ll come along.

Give me some time to find what works—I’ll probably mix in writing about writing, writing about publishing news (blog tour! book signings!), and writing about topics in my novel, like lucid dreaming. If one or more of these don’t suit you, well, stick with me anyway. And then let me know what you’re thinking—in the comments or in a private email. I want to write what you want to hear, but I may need guidance. I’m a terrible mind reader.

See that subscribe button on your screen? Just type in your email address and click the button. This is going to be fun!

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